Edemia World

I’m writing this from a royal miniature pig’s tent. Long story short, I think I’ve been kidnapped. I’m trying to figure out how to get to Grok or the goblins, or make a call for help of some sort.

You see, I was taking a small walk in the forest after delivering the day’s worms. I took a wrong turn, but I didn’t make much of it -- I’ve taken wrong turns before and the forest seems to have ways of taking you back where you were. But an hour later I found myself in what looked like a small village. I mean small -- the tallest of the houses went up to my shoulder, and the rest were at knee to chest level. It was like someone’s very elaborate urban planning project.

But no, it was a real inhabited town. A bunch of locals came up to me wearing masks and some sort of armour, but since they were no more than two feet tall I wasn’t very intimidated. In fact, any trace of fear I had melted away when they gave me a giant pear and started kissing my feet. And if there had been any leftover fear, that too was eliminated when they took off their armour and underneath turned out to be little pigs.

The pigmies, as it turns out, had mistaken me for their long-lost queen. They showed me a picture and I did see the resemblance, although I think I’m a little pinker. They thought I had lost my mind and run away. Their solution for that? Tie a bunch of ropes around my hands and feet and drag me all the way to their town centre. Everyone jumped with joy at the sight of me -- it was like walking into Sylvanos dragging slaves from an enemy tribe. You know, love at first sight.

Now they’re tripping over themselves trying to remind me of the high life I apparently used to lead. Young pigmies come into my tent bearing amazing food, bottles of perfume, the fluffiest pillows I’ve ever laid my head on, puppies, their most eligible men (“Three whole feet tall, Your Highness, and the curliest tails within a ten-mile radius!”). Someone even gave me a nice silk dress with bunnies embroidered into it, because it seems their old queen loved bunnies. The best part is that I don’t have to hold my breath and squeeze into it, for a change.

Hey, this isn’t so bad. It’s been a while since I’ve had a comfy bed. Maybe I’ll try to reach Grok again tomorrow...