Edemia World

I had to take over delivery duties this week because both the goblins were busy. One of my clients was Tian, whom I’d only met once before. She was picking up some strong berries for Dunas. Tian’s a very no-nonsense kind of person, which is funny because her slipper Darcy is quite the opposite. When they came to pick up magma berries for an expedition last year, she was in a hurry and didn’t talk much. But it turns out she can talk for hours about history and politics. Coming from Sylvanos, I know more about war than the average Edemian, so when I told her I used to be in the army, she pretty much appointed me her best friend for the day.

You see, Sylvanos has been fighting for territory for generations. Elves are conceived, born, raised, trained, and usually killed in war. It makes for a funny way of life. My former boss Lesver always tells us never to use the same bathroom twice in a row because enemies might try to catch us at a “weak moment.”

Anyway, I think I got Tian really interested in Sylvanos. She said she’d like me to tour her around when I’m not a berry anymore. It turns out there aren’t many books on Edemian history and culture. Well, technically there are -- volumes and volumes of them -- but they’re all autobiographies by elf commanders, so it’s hard to tell fact from self-glorification. Tian says she could write the first usable text on Sylvanos. I think it’s a good idea.

I told her I didn’t really want to go back, but that we could go visit together. You see, Grok may be greedy and grumpy and a monumental snorer, but at least he doesn’t keep track of your bathroom breaks. And I can tolerate Bob until he retires or marries some eclectic fruit jam tycoon, whichever comes first. (His work is essentially seducing businessmen into buying berries, so it’s not a long shot.) It should be fun showing Tian, Darcy and Dunas around. I could even take them through the forest. There’s a lot of good material there for Tian’s book, and it would be nice to climb trees again instead of waddling around them.

Also, next week is Grok’s birthday. Remember the surprise party I mentioned? Well, it’s all in motion. Joe has been growing extra fat worms for his birthday breakfast and we’re having peanut butter cake for dinner. All that’s missing are the candles -- we need eight, because Grok always says he’s eight whenever we ask him. Have a fun week!