Edemia World

Bob and I went clothes shopping today. I’ve never had to buy clothes before—back in Sylvanos, everyone gets issued a uniform and you just order a new one when you get fat, pregnant, stretched, reduced, or berryfied. But I’m in that stage between berryfied and cured, so my clothes are too big and too small in all the wrong places. Also, Bob needed new dresses to wear to business meetings. Grok insisted that he look pretty for investors.

So Grok gave us some money and off we went to Clockwork City. We took the airship because the ticket guy likes Bob and we always get in for free. It goes through the enchanted forest, so I get to look out the window and think about all the tree-climbing and weasel-chasing I used to do before I ended up here. Sometimes I get a peek of my old friends the centaurs, although they’re so shadowy and the airship goes by so fast I could never make out who’s who.

Anyway, we reached the city in about three and a half hours. What’s fun about Clockwork City is that no one gives you a second glance. Every Edemian of every race comes here to do his business, so a busty goblin and a round elf can easily blend in with the upside-down humans and flaming Leporids and cow-cat hybrids. The walk to Meier’s was uneventful, as usual. Meier is one of about eight hundred tailors in Clockwork City, but he’s the first to have thought about making clothes for the deformed, so he’s dominated the market..

I just wanted to get something comfortable for my worm hunting, but Bob never seemed to approve of my choices. My guess is that the girl berry is gradually giving him a sense of fashion. Well, the berry berry doesn’t have the same effect, so I insisted on this big red shirt that took two seconds to put on. I figured red would make it easier for Grok and the goblins to spot me when we’re out in the farm. Bob didn’t think so, though. He said I looked like a carbuncle. I bought it anyway, partly to spite him but also because I really didn’t care what gross bodily infection it made me look like, as long as it was comfy.

Bob’s shopping was a little more complicated. Goblin women aren’t normally very busty, so he couldn’t just grab dresses off the Deformed Goblins rack. He had to pick something that could hold his boobs and have the rest of it adjusted. Meier knows his measurements by heart now. We ended up with a couple of dresses (one orange, one pink) which Meier described as “smoldering.”

We also picked up a new hat for Joe. He likes to wear them in the summer to keep his ears from shriveling up. I bought us some jelly beans for the road (plus a bag of horse-flavored ones for Grok) with my spare change, then we started heading home.

Tomorrow I’m taking my new carbuncle-colored shirt out for a spin as I scrounge around for baby worms for Grok’s surprise birthday party (more on that later). Bob will smolder in his pink dress as he meets with a potential distributor. Things (and elves) are on a roll in Grok’s Berry Farm. Later! :)